How Balanced Is Your Relationship?

Energy Drain or Uplift? Relationship Quiz

Your relationships should energize and support you, not leave you feeling drained and exhausted. This quiz helps you understand whether your closest relationships are giving you energy or taking it away. Think about your most important relationships - whether romantic, family, or close friendships - and answer honestly about how they make you feel. You'll get personalized insights about your relationship energy balance and practical steps to create healthier, more fulfilling connections. Remember, healthy relationships involve give and take, but they should ultimately leave you feeling supported and valued.

After spending time with your closest relationships, how do you typically feel?

Energized and happy - I feel recharged and positive

Mixed feelings - sometimes good, sometimes drained

Tired and emotionally drained - I need time to recover

How often do you feel heard and understood in your important relationships?

Almost always - my thoughts and feelings are valued

Sometimes - depends on the situation or person

Rarely - I often feel misunderstood or ignored

When you're going through a difficult time, what happens in your relationships?

People rally around me with genuine support and care

Some are supportive, others seem uncomfortable or distant

I feel like I'm burdening others or facing it alone

How balanced is the give-and-take in your closest relationships?

Pretty balanced - we both contribute and support each other

Somewhat uneven - I give more sometimes, they give more other times

Very unbalanced - I'm always the one giving or supporting

How do you feel about yourself when you're with your closest people?

Confident and appreciated - they bring out my best qualities

It varies - sometimes good, sometimes self-conscious

Self-critical or inadequate - I often feel judged or criticized

When conflicts arise in your relationships, what usually happens?

We work through them respectfully and grow stronger

Sometimes we resolve them, sometimes they linger

They escalate, get ignored, or I always end up apologizing

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Mutual Respect Both people value each other's opinions, boundaries, and individuality

Open Communication You can express feelings honestly without fear of judgment or retaliation

Support Network Encourages your friendships and family relationships

Personal Growth You feel inspired to be your best self and pursue your goals

Conflict Resolution Disagreements are worked through with respect and compromise

Unhealthy Relationships

Control and Manipulation One person tries to control the other's choices, appearance, or behavior

Poor Communication Silent treatment, yelling, or dismissing feelings instead of talking

Isolation Your partner tries to cut you off from friends, family, or support systems

Constant Criticism You feel like you can't do anything right or are walking on eggshells

Unresolved Conflicts Same arguments repeat without resolution, or you're always blamed

Recognizing Abusive Behaviors

If you recognize patterns of control, intimidation, or harm in your relationships, know that this isn't normal or acceptable. Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, or psychological. Warning signs include threats, extreme jealousy, preventing you from seeing friends or family, controlling your finances, or making you feel afraid.

Getting Help

If you're experiencing abuse, please reach out for support. You deserve relationships that are safe and respectful. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline — available 24/7 — by calling 1-800-799-7233, texting LOVEIS to 22522, or visiting thehotline.org and selecting “Chat Now” for confidential support and resources. Local counselors, trusted friends, or family members can also provide crucial support during difficult times.

Building Healthier Relationships

Expressing Your Needs

Healthy relationships require honest communication about your needs and boundaries. Use "I" statements like "I feel hurt when..." instead of "You always..." Practice being specific about what you need rather than expecting others to guess. Remember, asking for what you need isn't selfish - it's essential for healthy connections.

Understanding Your Partner's Needs

Great relationships involve curiosity about each other. Ask open-ended questions like "What makes you feel most supported?" or "How can I better understand what you're going through?" Listen without immediately trying to fix or judge. Sometimes people just need to be heard and validated.

Self-Care in Relationships

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish - it's necessary for healthy relationships. Maintain your own interests, friendships, and goals. Set boundaries when you need space or time to recharge. Practice self-compassion and remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. When you're mentally and emotionally healthy, you're better able to show up for the people you care about.